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A Confession to Make . . .

Hello world,I'm here again. After ages. Just been sick,like really sick. Last week, I fell while playing netball, so had some back muscle injury. Was really an awful fall. After I recovered, after a few walk-in and out of the hospital, I fell sick. The 3-in-1 package. Lol. But anyways,I'm wanting to make this confession a long long time ago but just slipped of my mind. Hmm.

I've been a failure through out my life. I've caused so much of pain to a particular person, who now is not even my friend, it's a great lost though, but if thats what keeps him happy, I'll deal with it. All I'm able to say is again I'm really sorry. Please don't hate me. I do owe you an apology I know, but have you ever given me a chance to do so? Instead, you kept putting the blame on me and I stood there saying nothing, when you shouted infront of my friends, infront of everyone you called me names. How I felt at that moment, you'll never know. It's okay if you're upset with me, I know I deserve such a treatment. I always have been hearing your scoldings, your shoutings so what is this little humiliation do. No matter how you treat me, I'll still pray for your happiness, I'm not proving anything here like you've always said, when I try to voice out, you said I'm pretending all this while. Even when I'm writing this, I tear! Thats how much it hurts me when you say things like that. The other day, you scolded me, I was almost going to burst out crying, and thats the reason why I just walked away from you. I don't want to tear in front you. You know, it hurts the person more when the person tries to seek for apology. I just hope you're happy.

All I want is someone who I can trust, someone who I can love and loves me the way I do, not just leave me hanging all alone when I need him the most. Where on earth shall I find somebody like him, the person who loves me even more than I love myself. It seemed really impossible till I met this guy,(not mentioning names). Sometimes I wonder that do I really deserve him in my life?

For my past, was a really bad one. Yes, I admit that fact. I may have hurt many people in my life. Now after meeting him, he changed the whole in me. He loves me as a mother loves her child. He does everything that he can just to make me happy. I would be the dumbest ever person on earth if I break his heart. How can I ever do that? Never. I have seen the beauty if his love. The sincerity in him that makes me melt. And his kiss. Just puts me above the ground. It feels so nice when his lips touches mine. I just cant be bothered about any other things around me when I am with him. Oh! I just cant explain the feeling of being loved by someone who can sacrifce everything just to be with you. Sometimes when I am alone on my bed, I would be thinking of him. and suddenly my phone beeps. It is him! My heart shouts! I would be over the moon, when he rings my bells. I would spent the whole day with him, infact I did. If he can sacrifice so much, why cant I do the same? I would give him everything he wants. I would not refuse or deny all his wishes. I will give him willingly. I know, I'm not as good as he is. But still I would try my level best to keep him happy without shedding a tear, but however i end up screwing all the time. iloveyou <3