ex's

i thought i was the one.......

And sometimes you wish you could change everything in your past,

but if you ever do that,

how will you even learn from your mistakes?

Yes I know for a fact, sometimes, a person's past will keep haunting you and never will leave your back no matter how hard you try.

Your mind has no tendency to ignore those "memories" which maybe disturbing for you.

But which human is perfect?

Everyone of us have dark pasts.

Almost everything is link to relationships.

Life is just unfair.

Those who deserve you never gets the whole you :)

And yes, those who don't deserve you, normally gets their hands on you when you're just a first timer.

Just so depressing :)

Random Part 2

I need to get a life!!!

[this week has been an awful,hectic week!

too many things to do, and too little time.]

Anyways back to my bloggie. Greetings people!

I'm kinda emoing today. Firstly, my fucked up chemistry test.

studied like mad, and all i got is "your time is up! put your pens down!"

like what the fuck ?!!!

Who even gives tests for 50 minutes with so many damn thinking type questions?

Argghhhhhhhh!

No point crying over that! Just pissing me off. But I just cant seem to get over it.

I just wanna go home! :(

I miss my Mom,suddenly.

I wanna scream out! I wanna cry out!

But it just fails to happen =.='

I don't know whats wrong with me lately.

Too much of mood swings, getting tensed up easily, always moody etc. etc. etc.

It's like I have been PMS-ing the whole damn week.

Not enough of that, stupid Mathematics Test tomorrow.

And I just joined the class yesterday, like seriously, am I Albert Einstein's daughter or what? !!!!!

You see, I've been such a messed up person. Screwing every single thing in life.

The last ever thing I would wanna do is spoiling my future :(

I don't really know what's going to be ahead of me!

Not talking about that for now.

I like how things are now on the other hand.

People did forgive me for my mistakes.

I appreciate that really much, thankies.

Though as I've been saying in my older posts,

I did hurt many people in life.

Some may even just punish you for somethings you never did.

Thats why I say, LIFE's always a BITCH!

you'd never know when it really does backstabbbbbb you.

I just feel so unsatisfied right now.

Only way to let it out is to write.

hate writing in my diary,coz when i'm at home,

Mom tends to read it!

pathetic much, i know :)

i just want things to work out right.

i want everything to be in place.

i want my whole routine to be organised.

if not, i'm just losing my patience thats all.

got to go now.

will write soon.

good night world...

xxxxxx

Random part

hello world...

today was an ordinary monday.

woke up.

looked myself in the mirror.

and its depressing.

anyways.

got ready for college.

its the old same routine

walk pass the guard house.

head to the cafeteria.

grab a chocolate-chip muffin with a can of coffee.

and rush to class.

it was chemistry in the first slot.

well i've like chemistry.

so its a deff i enjoy chemistry classes.

well well.

after that.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i've dropped my mathematics 3c/3d

DEPRESSION!

got me all down today.

all depressed.

all stressed out.

life can be so fucked up.

dad told me to do what i think is the best.

love dad for that.

on the other hand

i'm thinking about my futureeee.

what am i going to do in life

it's like there's no clear cut at all.

i don't see where am i heading to!

lord! have mercyyyy.

after all that drama.

the blank stares.

the cries.

went for psychology.

went for english.

and sat for biology topic test.

and came back home in the rain.

one test down, twoo more to goooo.

phewww!

i'm exhausted people.

good night world,

till i write again.

xxxxxx

OMFG

Hello Bloggers!

Update!Update!

Today was an awesome day!

Everything was fine till Mr. English had to piss me off!

He just has to be picking on me all the time!!

eeeeeee!

Hate it much, but yeah have to see his face every Mondays and Thurdays.

ishhhhh!

Though at times, I enjoy his sarcasm! Hahaha.

I just did not say that.

Anyways next week is going to be hectic!!

Test! test! test!

And hell lots of assignments to do!

I'm getting lifeless day by day. I swear!

Lalalalalala.

I'm going home tomorrow. Weee!

Finally get to sleep on my own bed and not be stucked in hostel!

hahahaha.

Well I've got to go for now.

We'll be blogging soon.

Good night world!

xxxxx

Random Part 2

Hello World!

I'm bored! Absolutely bored!

Was asleep the whole day. LMAO

Woke up. Went for lunch.

Did a bit on my assignment.

Got bored of it.

Thought I could do something beneficial

but NAHHHH.

Lol. And then slept again.

Woke up. Went for dinner.

Came back and showered.

Felt so lifeless.

And talked to my bestie.

And she hung up.

And feel so lifeless again.

Hate being this way. But look what has stress done to me.

Lol.

Anyways, I'm not sure of what I'm even writing.

ROFL.

Good night World.

Till I write again.

xxxxx

Random

A Confession to Make . . .

Hello world,I'm here again. After ages. Just been sick,like really sick. Last week, I fell while playing netball, so had some back muscle injury. Was really an awful fall. After I recovered, after a few walk-in and out of the hospital, I fell sick. The 3-in-1 package. Lol. But anyways,I'm wanting to make this confession a long long time ago but just slipped of my mind. Hmm.

I've been a failure through out my life. I've caused so much of pain to a particular person, who now is not even my friend, it's a great lost though, but if thats what keeps him happy, I'll deal with it. All I'm able to say is again I'm really sorry. Please don't hate me. I do owe you an apology I know, but have you ever given me a chance to do so? Instead, you kept putting the blame on me and I stood there saying nothing, when you shouted infront of my friends, infront of everyone you called me names. How I felt at that moment, you'll never know. It's okay if you're upset with me, I know I deserve such a treatment. I always have been hearing your scoldings, your shoutings so what is this little humiliation do. No matter how you treat me, I'll still pray for your happiness, I'm not proving anything here like you've always said, when I try to voice out, you said I'm pretending all this while. Even when I'm writing this, I tear! Thats how much it hurts me when you say things like that. The other day, you scolded me, I was almost going to burst out crying, and thats the reason why I just walked away from you. I don't want to tear in front you. You know, it hurts the person more when the person tries to seek for apology. I just hope you're happy.

All I want is someone who I can trust, someone who I can love and loves me the way I do, not just leave me hanging all alone when I need him the most. Where on earth shall I find somebody like him, the person who loves me even more than I love myself. It seemed really impossible till I met this guy,(not mentioning names). Sometimes I wonder that do I really deserve him in my life?

For my past, was a really bad one. Yes, I admit that fact. I may have hurt many people in my life. Now after meeting him, he changed the whole in me. He loves me as a mother loves her child. He does everything that he can just to make me happy. I would be the dumbest ever person on earth if I break his heart. How can I ever do that? Never. I have seen the beauty if his love. The sincerity in him that makes me melt. And his kiss. Just puts me above the ground. It feels so nice when his lips touches mine. I just cant be bothered about any other things around me when I am with him. Oh! I just cant explain the feeling of being loved by someone who can sacrifce everything just to be with you. Sometimes when I am alone on my bed, I would be thinking of him. and suddenly my phone beeps. It is him! My heart shouts! I would be over the moon, when he rings my bells. I would spent the whole day with him, infact I did. If he can sacrifice so much, why cant I do the same? I would give him everything he wants. I would not refuse or deny all his wishes. I will give him willingly. I know, I'm not as good as he is. But still I would try my level best to keep him happy without shedding a tear, but however i end up screwing all the time. iloveyou <3