Random part

hello world...

today was an ordinary monday.

woke up.

looked myself in the mirror.

and its depressing.

anyways.

got ready for college.

its the old same routine

walk pass the guard house.

head to the cafeteria.

grab a chocolate-chip muffin with a can of coffee.

and rush to class.

it was chemistry in the first slot.

well i've like chemistry.

so its a deff i enjoy chemistry classes.

well well.

after that.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i've dropped my mathematics 3c/3d

DEPRESSION!

got me all down today.

all depressed.

all stressed out.

life can be so fucked up.

dad told me to do what i think is the best.

love dad for that.

on the other hand

i'm thinking about my futureeee.

what am i going to do in life

it's like there's no clear cut at all.

i don't see where am i heading to!

lord! have mercyyyy.

after all that drama.

the blank stares.

the cries.

went for psychology.

went for english.

and sat for biology topic test.

and came back home in the rain.

one test down, twoo more to goooo.

phewww!

i'm exhausted people.

good night world,

till i write again.

xxxxxx

OMFG

Hello Bloggers!

Update!Update!

Today was an awesome day!

Everything was fine till Mr. English had to piss me off!

He just has to be picking on me all the time!!

eeeeeee!

Hate it much, but yeah have to see his face every Mondays and Thurdays.

ishhhhh!

Though at times, I enjoy his sarcasm! Hahaha.

I just did not say that.

Anyways next week is going to be hectic!!

Test! test! test!

And hell lots of assignments to do!

I'm getting lifeless day by day. I swear!

Lalalalalala.

I'm going home tomorrow. Weee!

Finally get to sleep on my own bed and not be stucked in hostel!

hahahaha.

Well I've got to go for now.

We'll be blogging soon.

Good night world!

xxxxx

Random Part 2

Hello World!

I'm bored! Absolutely bored!

Was asleep the whole day. LMAO

Woke up. Went for lunch.

Did a bit on my assignment.

Got bored of it.

Thought I could do something beneficial

but NAHHHH.

Lol. And then slept again.

Woke up. Went for dinner.

Came back and showered.

Felt so lifeless.

And talked to my bestie.

And she hung up.

And feel so lifeless again.

Hate being this way. But look what has stress done to me.

Lol.

Anyways, I'm not sure of what I'm even writing.

ROFL.

Good night World.

Till I write again.

xxxxx

Random

A Confession to Make . . .

Hello world,I'm here again. After ages. Just been sick,like really sick. Last week, I fell while playing netball, so had some back muscle injury. Was really an awful fall. After I recovered, after a few walk-in and out of the hospital, I fell sick. The 3-in-1 package. Lol. But anyways,I'm wanting to make this confession a long long time ago but just slipped of my mind. Hmm.

I've been a failure through out my life. I've caused so much of pain to a particular person, who now is not even my friend, it's a great lost though, but if thats what keeps him happy, I'll deal with it. All I'm able to say is again I'm really sorry. Please don't hate me. I do owe you an apology I know, but have you ever given me a chance to do so? Instead, you kept putting the blame on me and I stood there saying nothing, when you shouted infront of my friends, infront of everyone you called me names. How I felt at that moment, you'll never know. It's okay if you're upset with me, I know I deserve such a treatment. I always have been hearing your scoldings, your shoutings so what is this little humiliation do. No matter how you treat me, I'll still pray for your happiness, I'm not proving anything here like you've always said, when I try to voice out, you said I'm pretending all this while. Even when I'm writing this, I tear! Thats how much it hurts me when you say things like that. The other day, you scolded me, I was almost going to burst out crying, and thats the reason why I just walked away from you. I don't want to tear in front you. You know, it hurts the person more when the person tries to seek for apology. I just hope you're happy.

All I want is someone who I can trust, someone who I can love and loves me the way I do, not just leave me hanging all alone when I need him the most. Where on earth shall I find somebody like him, the person who loves me even more than I love myself. It seemed really impossible till I met this guy,(not mentioning names). Sometimes I wonder that do I really deserve him in my life?

For my past, was a really bad one. Yes, I admit that fact. I may have hurt many people in my life. Now after meeting him, he changed the whole in me. He loves me as a mother loves her child. He does everything that he can just to make me happy. I would be the dumbest ever person on earth if I break his heart. How can I ever do that? Never. I have seen the beauty if his love. The sincerity in him that makes me melt. And his kiss. Just puts me above the ground. It feels so nice when his lips touches mine. I just cant be bothered about any other things around me when I am with him. Oh! I just cant explain the feeling of being loved by someone who can sacrifce everything just to be with you. Sometimes when I am alone on my bed, I would be thinking of him. and suddenly my phone beeps. It is him! My heart shouts! I would be over the moon, when he rings my bells. I would spent the whole day with him, infact I did. If he can sacrifice so much, why cant I do the same? I would give him everything he wants. I would not refuse or deny all his wishes. I will give him willingly. I know, I'm not as good as he is. But still I would try my level best to keep him happy without shedding a tear, but however i end up screwing all the time. iloveyou <3

There's No Surprise :)

there's no surprise. . . . .

Hey people! It's been a while since I've blogged, was pretty much busy with college, topic tests, and stuff. Well, here I am again, blogging to kill time. It's pretty hard to catch some sleep nowadays, I keep wondering why. When others sleep, I don't, and when they don't, I do. LOL. When I'm awake at this awkward hours of the night, sometimes my little chunk of tissues and membranes, just keep flashing my life,my past life. Looking back is not what I ever intend to do. I never did, I never will. But I can't stop myself from thinking, on that one particular night, 03042010. Well, lets just not talk about it. It's really devastating, and you ( you know who you are, and I don't wish to mention names over here ) just lost everything, even that little sympathy I had for you, even after whatever you said to me, I kept telling myself, I shouldn't have been rude towards you. You'll never understand me, you never tried to anyways. Be angry at me, it's all your wish. I'm never going to bug you on this matter NO MORE. But it's really painful when such words I hear over and over again from your mouth, with your unpleasant speech! Anyways, all I can say is, I'm not having grudge against you and hopefully you don't as well. And I didn't blog to prove anything about myself if thats what you think of each and every post of mine, YES! YOU ARE WRONG! I don't care about whatever people say about me, I'm just living my life. And I don't need people to lead my life. I don't need people to me giving their opinions on what I should do and what not. I don't even let my parents decide my future, what else some ordinary outsider! Until today, this very minute, I do apologize for I choose to live my life my way, whats the point when there's no future. Well, if you're still mad at me, I don't blame you. At least I didn't drag it until its too late. And to my so-called-bestfriend. Thanks alot for backstabbing me again, no wonder I see wonders in your life now. Sorry, but you made me this way, People around me made me this way, I never choose to be this way, I really didn't. If you ever open my blog page, and seeing this, I am truthfully sorry for what I did, I know it's the worst anyone can do but I just want a life for myself, at least I didn't drag it till it's too late. Sorry for everything once again, and I'm not proving anything to anyone! I made myself clear this time. May god bless you.

xxxx

What Happens When He Is Your Prince Charming,But You're Not His Cinderella?

What Happens When He's Your Prince Charming,
But
You're Not His Cinderella?

We always ignore those who adore us, but adore those who ignore us. Knowing the fact that they can never be ours yet we don't stop going after them. Just to learn later on, you've given so much of love to that person and getting nothing in return will just tear you apart. It's the worst feeling ever. And when you have got your heartbroken, you'll still not hate them. It's amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces left. You'll treasure the moments you had, and say, "He taught me how to love but not how to stop." You'll start thinking to yourself, the times we were happy together are worth the time I cry alone. Loving you is the sweetest mistake I've done, you'll keep reminding your little heart to continue beating. And when you look at your partner smiling, and knowing he/she isn't smiling because of you, that's the time you'll miss them the most!
Nothing hurts more than realizing that he meant everything to you but you never meant anything to him :)
And you'll say, "A million words would never bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried. Loving you was the sweetest mistake I've made,yes I admit.
But you don't dare remember me when she finally forgets you! It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but it's harder to pretend that you don't love that someone, when you know you really do"

The Life I'm Living

The Life I'm Living
sometimes I'm grateful because I have him in my life,
sometimes I'm wanting to die because of the way my parents treat me,anything I do is never right,
sometimes I even doubt that I'm their daughter, hmmm.

To the love of my life, you know who you are, I'm sorry I screwed up many times but you do know how much I love you, I can't love anybody else this much, I swear I never did. You made me love you this much, don't ever leave me stranded half way, remember what promise you made to me, no matter what happens, you'll never let go off my hands. Please don't ever hurt me like how the others did, I am trying to be a better person each and everyday. I love you the way you are, you don't have to be like anybody else or even compare yourself with anyone else, to me, you're perfect enough. If you're seeing this, baby, I love you, and I can't wait till the day I finally get to live with you <3

To my mum and dad, I'm really sorry that I'm never a good daughter, yes I know, I'm rebellious and all, but I still love you mum and dad. I still want to make you proud of me, like how I always did and always will. Just one that I never listened that I am loving someone, Mum. I truly do love him, I'm sorry I can't help it. But that doesn't mean I'm neglecting you right? I always will spend my time with you, always will. I'm not that mean after all, I didn't mean to raise my voice mum,I just was tired, and you questioned me in such a way that I really got annoyed. See, I'm useless enough, always making you sad and always hurting you. When I see your tears, it kills me inside mum, it hurts me, really badly. I'm your daughter of course I feel it, I love you very much mum,I swear I do. Please please forgive me for what I did today. I'll prove myself, that I'll be a better person mum :)

To my best friend, Yinnba, you're the best ever partner in crime I ever had :) hahahaha. It's fun being with you, and I swear you're a nice person babe! Just too nice that everyone wants to backstab you. I'm surely going to miss you after AUSMAT course is over, and will wanna see you in Aussie soon enough kay? hehehe. And that Sunday, when you tried harming yourself, I thought I would lose you, I was so scared till I even thought of doing the same, goshhh. You really made me worried. Thank god you're safe now, don't you ever do it again! And Shafira, please stop emoing all the time, Yinba and I are always here for you alright? You'll get your life sorted out soon enough don't worry.All you need is time thats all. I'll miss you Shaf, once you leave to Canada next year :(
Nice friends I've got, will treasure you guys for life, I swear!